Because I'm tired of all the things we leave unsaid. You mean the world to me and I know its not your fault. The Mighty is asking the following:Write a letter to anyone you wish had a better understanding of your experience with disability, disease or mental illness. Then you go to the other room and I feel like we are roommates with nothing in common but the roof above our heads. Stress from a toxic relationship can cause a number of symptoms, such as sleep difficulties, appetite changes, and reduced immunity. I feel so alone and helpless. If depression is the third wheel in your relationship, you dont have to figure it out alone. Bonobology.com is the couple-relationship destination for Indians everywhere! It was a signal to others they had problems and they wanted people to recognize and sympathize with their petty difficulties. You say that I need to be more patient but how can I be when things keep going wrong? I cannot go on living like this anymore. Words that seem like bullets. It broke my heart. You make me so happy even though its sometimes overshadowed by the darkness of my depression. You say that you love me but you never show it. ", The times I would catch you crying and you would try to hide it in a (poor) attempt to smooth everything over. Does the designation of a husband come with this responsibility? But Im still sad. 3. Outline your objectives and intentions. But whatever the reason for my unhappiness, theres no denying that its real and that it mattersto me and to our marriage. I can see that you dont see the woman you fell in love with when you look at me, and that hurts. Is Your Marriage Making You Depressed? I dont have all the answers and you probably dont have them either. You spend more and more time away from me and the children. Most of all, I miss you. Because I love you so much, and I want to see you happy. And that should be enough for you. Its been six years since we got married and I still feel like an outsider in your life. 3. And Ive left my identity to become your wife. Without it, Im not even a wife Im just a person who makes sure all the housework is done. You used to care for me. She shares her highs, her lows, the good times, the hysterical times and everything else that goes alongside parenting. Instead of talking for hours like we used to, we only talk about what we must discuss. I love you, and I know you love me too. I need you to hold my hand and lead me to the future we planned for us. But please dont ever think that its because I dont think you and our son are worth living for. Now that I know what I would miss, Im here to stay. I miss getting flowers and chocolate just because you wanted to surprise me. Theyd been merelybuzzwords thrown around too many times by peoplewho couldnt think of another way to describe their daily frustrations. It is your duty as a partner to perform these responsibilities. } When we first met, my depression was hiding. Whyd you thought I hide things from you? After such a long time of pure love and honesty, dont start with lies now. She has authored \'Corazon Roto and Sixty Nine Other Treasons\'(2015), has co-edited two poetry anthologies, \'Dawn Beyond the Waste\'(2016) and \'Cologne of Heritage\'(2017), and has been published widely in journals both nationally and internationally. You didnt leave. I didnt sign up for this. Im sorry you get thebrunt of my anger on cloudydays. Leading up to our wedding and even a few months past it, I felt absolutely immobilized. I think its because your job is too stressful and youre taking it out on us by staying away. Hed tell me nothing but the truth and the most romantic things I ever heard. Why are you suspicious all the time? In a word, I felt helpless. Well, a woman who doesnt feel desirable in her husbands life anymore. We dont do the things we used to do. So long as we can do it together. Let me feel like a wife again, not just like a roommate. Encourage professional help: If your wife is struggling with depression or unhappiness, it is important to encourage her to seek professional help. Why is it that every action of mine viewed as being something more than what it is? 2022. I love our children more than anything, but sometimes I feel like a failure. Ihatethe silence it forces me to keep. But I have been depressed for a long time now and I dont think you understand why. I dont know how to start this letter. Thank you for fulfilling my random cravings because you know it will make me feel better. But if you dont want that anymore, I cant stop you. I was right. Thank you for the times you let me make those big decisions for my mental health. Think Aloud is a destination where youll find stories about every step you, as a woman, take. Dont you know how much your happiness means to me? I am writing you this letter because I am afraid to tell you in person. I am not an affectionate person and he knew that from day 1 but Ive made a conscious effort to be better and I make it priority because I dont want him feeling the pain I do caused by him. "text": "How to Discuss Your Depression with Your Partner 1. When I share those dark thoughts with you, it saddens you to know I hurt. Today, I am a man. I dont know why you dont trust me. } It shouldnt have got to this stage. If you feel better without me, my heart would be shattered, but Id be happy for you. That way you are fulfilling your duty as a husband who helps a depressed wife. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Encourage them even as they are putting in their little effort. Thank You much Love , Yeboah Lucy Mawunyo Abla is my name. I know you must be wondering why Im writing this letter. You are no longer the same man who used to love me and care about me like no other man in this world does. Terms. And then when we do go out and have fun together, the next day I feel like all of those feelings have been lost again in our daily routine of work and chores around the house. I no longer feel your love for me and I miss your tender touch. Since having our son (18 months) things changed, I knew they would but I never expected the jealousy my husband has now, the constant questioning my love for him, the secret conversations with other women, accusing me of doing the very things he is doing. We know when one of us needs space, and we know when one of us needs that extra loving. If youre not, thats okay too. But you still stay and try to be happy for the both of us. Related Reading: How I turned into a jealous monster. It feels like we have lost our connection with each other and there isnt anything left between us anymore except for our daughter who sleeps in her own room at night while we sit on opposite ends of our king size bed watching TV shows. You had wanted to see my call log. And I need you to be close to me. You dont have to tell me you love me every day or try to convince me that Im beautiful to you. You used to show me so much affection, but now I think my own husband is not attracted to me anymore. The time wevespent together has been amazing but truly defines an emotional roller coaster. Writing from the perspective of a husband who always likes to consider himself truly honest and, for lack of a better term, manly, it seemed inconceivable for me at first that there were days I couldnt make you feel better. I wish we had never gotten married but then again, I love you so much and would do anything for you. The introduction should be straight forward as possible by stating your intentions or reason for the letter. You knew just how much pain I was in when you found out about my illness but instead of helping me through it all, you left me behind and started a new life without me knowing anything about it at all! Vol. "name": "Can A Toxic Marriage Cause Depression? If you are so suspicious of me all the time how will we ever have a happy relationship? When we first met, I was a foolish college boy with a tremendous crush. 4. Oops! I want you to know and remember my unconditional love for you. And if it ever comes back, I want you to know Ill be here again and again. Youre still here, but its like youre not or dont want to be. It was not fair at all!!! First of all, Im sorry you have to read this letter about feeling unwanted and unloved, but that is how I feel lately. Related Reading: Confession of an insecure wife Every night after he sleeps, I check his messages. I know my depression makes you sad sometimes. It should be brief, concise, and straight to the point. Sometimes Ill tell you. Even our fights are so passionate that at times when we have differences I choose to fight than remain silent. 2. I know you didnt sign up to marry someone with depression. Will the sky be blue or black? The only time he is happy and loves me, compliments me, etc is when Ive had sex with him. And I keep that hurt in my heart. Outline your objectives and intentions. The distance between us started to widen and our love language changed We barely even talk and I feel neglected and hopeless. Learn how your comment data is processed. But if you dont want me anymore and dont want to fix things, take a break. Because what good is a house if we arent happy? 22years of age and currently at the Ghana Institute of journalism studying Public relations. I've never told you how cold it feels when you look at me like you're looking at a ghost. And you had thought it was a boy! DISCLAIMER: Please note that this post may contain some affiliate links. I'm depressed. You should be able to tell when they are stressed and when to give a helping hand. But I cant. We dont laugh anymore. I firmly believed there was nothing I could do. You know me you know that Im a woman who can survive anything. Sometimes thefatigueis so bad I just want to cry. Not the Mr. and Mrs. that we used to be, but just two strangers with the same last name. I love you so much, and it hurts me to see you like this! By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. You hardly ever ask how my day was or what was going on in my life anymore. "An unhappy marriage chronically feels bad. I wonder why the love has started diminishing. How Do You Tell Your Partner You're Depressed. Youre not happy with me anymore either because I havent lost any weight since having the baby and you say that I dont look good in anything anymore so why bother trying? But you dont seem to get me anymore. All Im asking for is that you keep it safe there for a little longer before deciding to throw it away. But we've been married for more than ten years, and nothing has changed between us. I need to feel safe in your embrace like I used to. But now we dont have each other anymore, we just have this awkward silence between us thats killing me. I want things to get better, i want to be your wife and your friend and I want to feel like I'm as important as everything else in your . At that time all I want you do to, is repeat the oath of forevermore to me. One day I hope it wont ever cross my mind again. Im not sure where things went wrong, to be honest with you. I need you to want me and I need to feel your love I havent felt it in ages and find myself yearning for a simple hug of reassurance. Please include a photo for the piece, a photo of yourself and 1-2 sentence bio. I love you, and I know you love me too. I know it can add up quickly. Help me make things better again. Im sorry that I am not the wife you deserve but I dont know what else to do. I know that things arent always easy between us like they used to be when we first got married years ago because of how busy both of us have been lately with work. You were ready to do anything for me, and now Im here asking you to let me do the same for you. We were so happy back in college, when everything was new and exciting, when our future was bright with possibilities. And thank you for the late night talks when you know something isnt right. I know that no one can ever take your place in my life. I still want to see us grow old together Do you? 20 Things That Make Wives Unhappy In A Marriage. Follow this journey on Swords and Snoodles. This letter from wife to husband was written after years of fighting, yelling, hurting and dealing with marriage issues. Becci is very honest, brutally honest, and prides herself on this. Depression is very clever, you see it builds up a wall of anger piece by piece, and you never notice it until its so big it begins to topple over. Depressed Unhappy Wife Letter To Husband: How To Go About It. In the topic of a depressed unhappy wifes letter to a husband, know that communication is a key factor that needs to be looked at in any kind of relationship. "acceptedAnswer": { "@type": "Answer", Write a letter to anyone you wish had a better understanding of your experience with disability, disease or mental illness. Night. That I was powerless to change how you felt. And when I say Ill divorce you, its the last thing I want to do. A Letter to My Husband About Our Relationship. "acceptedAnswer": { Whod want to write a letter to a husband about feeling unwanted? Most of the time I wont. I hope I did a good job of supporting you and loving you through it. This Sex Therapist Explains Why She Makes Out With Her Husband Every. Your words hurt me so much that sometimes I want to cry myself to sleep at night thinking about how terrible my life has become ever since we got married. It was not my intention to hurt you. I dont know if youve noticed, but Ive been feeling really down lately. You're going through a lot right now, and it's hard for me not to feel helpless. Were not girlfriend and boyfriend anymore, we are husband and a wife. Why is it that every man I talk to a prospective usurper of your seat? Love me back with that entirety. I feel like Im drowning in a sea of my own tears. I swing between feeling confused, enraged, ambivalent, distressed, sad, angry, frustrated, upset, embarrassed and depressed. Life has thrown us some major obstacles but we always get thru them and come out Better people. You dont know what its like to be in your shoes, so I am going to tell you everything. As a husband, you may have thoughts of leaving the marriage. Please forgive me. We had everything we could have ever wanted as far as material things go, but most importantly, we had love and happiness between us. When we got married, it was the happiest day of my life, to make my vows to you and promise to love you forever. An Open Letter to Shitty Husbands, Vol. "acceptedAnswer": { Rehab center, also known as rehabilitation is a drug addiction treatment to provide and give support and care to people who have problem with drug addiction, and depression and finds it difficult to put a stop to it. This letter to a husband about feeling unwanted is my scream for your attention my pain finally put into words. Be a good listener: Be willing to listen to your wifes thoughts and feelings without judgment. Because Im tired of all the things we leave unsaid. I havent self harmed since February 2010, but the urge often consumes me. I have suffered from depression for quite some time now. I know you probably think to yourself, is this my fault? Bring Resources to the Table. It appears you entered an invalid email. Why every single daughter should read this. Your mind is elsewhere but my heart is still in your hands. Hold my hand like you used to and guide me to the future we planned for us. Becci is a 31-year-old mum to two young boys. I have been married to you for three years now and life has been an uphill ride since we got married. Related Reading: Emotional abuse- 9 signs and 5 coping tips. I was at a party and I had a tiny crush on the married birthday girl, and I watched her husband ignore her all night (and already knew him to be a less-than-ideal partner). Practice self-care: Engaging in activities that promote physical and emotional well-being, such as exercise, healthy eating, and relaxation techniques, can help improve overall mood. I hope that one day you will be able to forgive me for the mistakes I have made during our years together as husband and wife. Just listen to me and ask about the cloudy days. Sometimes, I wonder whether youve met someone new, although I still trust you enough to know you wouldnt hurt me that way But maybe Im wrong and youre not the same man I fell in love with all those years ago. I know that no one can take away all the happiness from your life except yourself but please stop blaming me for everything that goes wrong between us because I dont want any more fights or arguments between us anymore! Im going to sit down and write mine today. I want to be your partner in crime and the best friend you can tell anything to. Im not fulfilled. Take some time out. Im feeling like my husband hates me and if thats so, I dont want to stop you from walking away. Despite the challenges mental illness will no doubt bring to our future, I welcome them head on. Im willing to try to make it work again, but are you? I love you so much and I just want to make you happy. September 10, 2022 November 2, 2022. I know how much you love me and how much you want me to be happy. You are trapped by your own thoughts and ideas about how things should be and what you want from life; and I am trapped by my own mind as well because even though I know that no one will ever understand me, including myself, I still try anyway. Sometimes I lay awake at night and worry about things that wont even happen. } { The Mighty is asking the following: Write a letter to anyone you wish had a better understanding of your experience with disability, disease or mental illness. Get your dose of relationship advice from Bonobology right in your inbox, Joie Bose is considered as one of the leading English poets of the city and writes Confessions with Joie Bose for Bonobology (when she is not working for a multinational company). I know that weve been having problems lately, but I want us to get through them together! And if we look at us, theres nothing to see but two strangers who are living under the same roof. Jul 15, 2015 . But you still stay and try to be happy for the both of us. It would feel like having everything I could ever wish for and losing it all in a second. "@type": "Answer", I say that because I am hurt and some sort of sadistic pleasure makes me say this and be more hurt. When I look into the mirror, I see an old woman instead of a young girl like before. It hurts me to feel like Im the only one in this relationship whos trying to save it, but it also hurts to feel invisible and Im afraid of losing you. We even used to have a rule about not going to bed angry. I didnt like the new house, or our neighbors, or being far away from my family and friends. "@type": "Question", You tried so hard to make me happy by buying me expensive clothes and jewelry and trips to Hawaii on our anniversary every year until this year when you lost your job and couldnt afford anything anymore except food, utilities and rent. Commitment is key in marriage. Marriage however becomes boring when these expectations arent met by one of the couples. But I want to be happy again, for myself and for you. It is only because I love you so much and want us to be happy together again! But you were still there. To the love of my love, I know our marriage hasn't been working the way we expected.